Does Marriage Change Anything?

How has marriage changed your relationship? I was kind of surprised at how many times I was asked this question after our wedding. I hadn’t actually thought about it before. Was I expecting anything to change? Was Joel? Was something supposed to change? I know every relationship and every marriage is different. But to be honest.. YES, our relationship has changed.

But for the better.

I honestly wasn’t expecting anything to be different. And I guess the actual dynamics of our relationship haven’t changed, but truthfully, the love I feel for him now – it’s completely different than anything I felt for him before. Sometimes I’m just stunned to think that someone could love me enough to vow to spend forever with me. I love knowing that I have this person in my life that promised me and promised our family and friends that he would be there through thick and thin.

Yes, yes, I know. People get divorced. And both of us have experienced our fair share of failed and dysfunctional relationships in our families and in our own lives. But maybe that’s a GOOD thing for us. We’ve seen what we don’t want to do. We’ve seen what doesn’t work. We’ve seen what causes a relationship to fall apart. We’ve even had our own relationship fall apart before. But we were together for almost 6 years before getting married. We made sure we were ready to take that big step. We take our marriage seriously and I think we both do a pretty good job at making it successful so far. 🙂

Joel and I have actually had this conversation before. He mentioned this story one time and it still makes me think. He said the one day at work (before we got married) he was talking with his male coworkers and they were all saying how their wives forbid them from doing certain things – going to bars with their friends, riding a motorcycle, playing video games, etc, etc. They all talked about their “ball and chain” and they were warning Joel to be prepared for his life to change dramatically after marriage. And then we got married. And nothing changed. I never told him he couldn’t do those things before, so why would I start doing that now?

Now I’m definitely not an expert on marriage – we’ve only been married for less than a year and half! But I like to think I’m doing a pretty good job so far. So here’s my tips for you, dear readers.

1. Learn to trust – A relationship will not work if there’s no trust. It just won’t.

2. Don’t try to change him (too much) – Some things you can change, and some you just can’t. Joel will always play video games. It’s who he is. But putting glasses in the dishwasher instead of on the counter? I’m working on it.

3. Be affectionate and passionate – Hug him. Kiss him. Tell him you love him. Tell him how lucky you are to have him. Thank him. Men like to be praised just as much as women do!

4. Flirt with him – Yes, I know you’re already married. But flirt with him.

5. Find common interests – Joel and I don’t have much in common, but we both love a super scary horror movie/show. Ghosts or zombies? Yes please!

6. Just have fun – I don’t believe that marriage should be work. I think laughing and being goofy with each other is one of the easiest ways to have a successful relationship. Laughter fixes almost anything, seriously.

Now don’t judge – I truthfully didn’t spend a ton of time on this. I just came up with the first few things that came to my mind. Marriage is a work in progress. Every relationship is different. Things that work for one couple don’t always work for another couple. But just have fun and go from there.

What’s the best relationship advice you ever received?

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Marriage and Old People

Source: lovequotesrus.tumblr.com via Cybill on Pinterest

30 Day “What If” Challenge – Day 4

Day 4 :  What if one song were to describe your life, what song would it be?

Well, I’m not usually the type to say “Oh, this song is so me!” Yes, some songs make me more emotional than others. And yes, I sometimes think a song is very similar to my life. But honestly, I doubt I could ever listen to a song and feel like the song was describing me. So I may not be answering this question appropriately (I’m sorry!), but I’m just going to talk about a song that means a lot to me and a song that always makes me think about my life when I listen to it.

taylor swift

From Google Images.

The song I choose is – “The Moment I Knew” by Taylor Swift. Here’s some of the lyrics:

And it was like slow motion
Standing there in my party dress
In red lipstick
With no one to impress
And they’re all laughing
And asking me about you
But there’s one thing missing
And that was the moment I knew

What do you say
When tears are streaming down your face
In front of everyone you know
And what do you do when the one
Who means the most to you
Is the one who didn’t show

You should’ve been here..
And I would’ve been so happy.

((When you listen to the whole song, I believe it’s about a girl getting stood up by her boyfriend at her birthday party. But that’s not why I like this song or why I feel like I connect with this song.))

The first time I heard this song it made me think about my wedding day and how my grandparents weren’t there. It makes me think about my wedding day and how my dad wasn’t there. It just makes me think about every big day in my life and how there’s so many people that should’ve been there..  but they weren’t.

But the reason I love this song so much..

My grandfather was one of the most important people in my life. We were so incredibly close for as long as I can remember. I always imagined him walking me down the aisle on my wedding day.. so when he passed away less than 6 weeks before my wedding, I was crushed. Beyond crushed. And now every time I listen to this song, it just makes me think about him. It makes me think about how he should’ have been there. How I would’ve done anything to have him there.

Do you have a song that describes your life?

30 Day “What If” Challenge – Day 1

So I’ve been playing around on the internet looking for something to do to motivate me to update my blog.. and I’ve decided to do a DAILY QUESTION! I found this 30 Day Challenge on Tumblr and I’ve decided it’s perfect. Hopefully I can figure out how to link up with other people and get started – let me know if you’d like to join – or if you know how to help me link up with others who might be interested. So here we go!

Day 1 :  What if you were in a fire and you could only save one object, what would it be? I’m going to make this slightly more difficult and say you can’t include people or pets, because I’m going to assume that’s obvious.

Oh crap, I decide to start this and now this question is really stumping me! I’m going to go with my first thought and say my wedding dress. (I’m really big on trusting my instincts and this was the first thing that popped into my head, so I’m sticking with it).  My wedding day was truly magical. Hopefully someday I have a daughter.. and no, I wouldn’t expect her to wear my dress or veil.. but maybe somehow incorporate part of it into her wedding. And if not, it would still be awesome to have my dress to show my future children.. future grandchildren.. nieces.. whoever would enjoy seeing it! My wedding dress is a symbol of something that is very, very important to me.. and something I’ll always cherish.  (I always wear my wedding band set so I’m not counting those!)

dress

What would you save??